How to Get Out of Debt and Why Do Friends Sometimes Refuse to Repay Their Debts?

Debt is a financial problem that can affect anyone. Under certain circumstances, borrowing money can be a solution for meeting urgent needs, paying for education, starting a business, or covering daily expenses. However, if debt is not managed properly, it can become a financial burden and make an already difficult situation even worse.

Many people struggle to repay their debts because their outstanding balances continue to grow, interest charges increase, or their income is insufficient to cover monthly payments. This situation is commonly known as being trapped in a cycle of debt.

Debt can also create problems in friendships. Many people feel disappointed when a friend who borrowed money becomes difficult to contact once the repayment date arrives. Some lenders even have to ask repeatedly before getting their money back.

So, how can you get out of debt? And why do some friends seem unwilling to repay the money they borrowed? Here are some explanations and practical steps you can take.

1. Understand How Much Debt You Owe

The first step toward getting out of debt is identifying the total amount you owe. Many people avoid facing their financial problems because they are afraid to see the full amount of their outstanding obligations. However, understanding your actual financial situation is the first step toward finding a solution.

Make a list of all your debts, including bank loans, credit cards, online loans, vehicle installments, and money borrowed from friends or family members.

Record the following important information:

- The name of the lender.

- The remaining balance.

- The interest rate.

- The monthly payment amount.

- The payment due date.

Having this information in one place will help you identify which debts are the most urgent and should be addressed first.

Avoid taking out new loans simply to cover existing debts without carefully considering the consequences. This habit can make your financial problems even more complicated.

2. Create a Monthly Budget Specifically for Debt Repayment

After calculating your total debt, the next step is to create a monthly budget. The goal is to manage your income effectively so that you can cover your daily expenses while making regular debt payments.

Start by calculating your total monthly income. Then subtract essential expenses such as food, housing, transportation, and important bills.

3. Prioritize Debts with the Highest Interest Rates

If you have several debts at the same time, it is important to establish a repayment order. One strategy you can use is the *debt avalanche method*.

This method involves making the minimum required payments on all your debts while putting any extra money toward the debt with the highest interest rate first.

For example, imagine that you have three debts:

- Debt A: IDR 5,000,000 with a high interest rate.

- Debt B: IDR 3,000,000 with a moderate interest rate.

- Debt C: IDR 2,000,000 with a low interest rate.

Using this method, Debt A becomes your first priority because it carries the highest interest rate. Once Debt A has been fully repaid, you can redirect the additional payment amount toward Debt B, followed by Debt C.

This strategy can help reduce the total amount of interest you pay, especially when there are significant differences between the interest rates on your debts.

Another option is the *debt snowball method*, which involves paying off the smallest debt first. This approach may be suitable for people who need motivation from experiencing the satisfaction of paying off their loans one by one.

4. Reduce Unnecessary Expenses

One way to accelerate debt repayment is to cut back on expenses that are not essential.

Take a closer look at your daily spending habits. These may include eating out too frequently, buying things simply because they are on sale, paying for subscriptions you rarely use, or spending too much money on entertainment.

This does not mean you have to stop enjoying life. However, while you still have outstanding debts, maintaining financial stability should be your priority.

The money you save can be redirected toward monthly installments or used to reduce your outstanding loan balance.

5. Find Additional Sources of Income

If your main income is not enough to cover your living expenses and debt payments, consider finding additional sources of income.

There are many side jobs you can pursue depending on your skills and abilities, such as freelancing, selling products online, offering graphic design services, providing private tutoring, or taking a part-time job.

Any additional income should ideally be used to accelerate debt repayment rather than increase unnecessary spending.

The more money you can allocate toward your debts, the sooner you can improve your financial situation.

6. Communicate with Your Lenders If You Are Having Trouble Making Payments

If you are genuinely unable to make your payments on time, do not avoid communicating with your lender.

Try contacting your bank or financial institution to explain your current circumstances. Ask whether they offer options such as loan restructuring, revised payment schedules, or other forms of payment assistance under their applicable policies.

Make sure that any agreement is documented officially, and carefully understand all associated fees and consequences.

Avoid taking out a new loan with a higher interest rate just to pay off an existing installment. If you are considering debt consolidation, review the total costs, interest rate, repayment period, and your ability to make the payments before agreeing to anything.

7. Why Do Friends Sometimes Refuse to Repay Their Debts?

In addition to personal debt problems, lending money to friends can also lead to conflict. Sometimes, someone who initially promises to repay the money becomes difficult to contact when the repayment date arrives.

There are several reasons why a friend may be unwilling or unable to repay a debt.

First, they may be experiencing financial difficulties.

Not everyone who fails to repay a debt on time has bad intentions. Your friend may be experiencing financial hardship, losing their job, or dealing with other urgent expenses.

Second, they may lack proper financial planning.

Some people borrow money without considering whether they will be able to repay it. As a result, when the due date arrives, they may not have enough money available.

Third, they may not consider debts owed to friends a priority.

Some people prioritize payments to banks or financial institutions because they are afraid of penalties, interest charges, or legal consequences. Meanwhile, they may assume that money borrowed from friends can be repaid later.

Fourth, they may feel uncomfortable being asked to repay the money.

Some people avoid communication because they feel embarrassed about being unable to pay. However, disappearing without providing an explanation is certainly not the right way to fulfill a financial obligation.

Fifth, they may have no intention of repaying the money.

In some cases, people deliberately avoid their responsibilities even though they actually have the ability to repay what they owe. This behavior can damage trust and destroy friendships.

8. How to Ask a Friend to Repay a Debt Politely

If a friend has not repaid the money they borrowed, you should approach the situation politely but firmly.

First, contact your friend directly through a message or phone call. Remind them of the amount they borrowed and the agreed repayment date.

Second, ask whether they are experiencing financial difficulties. If they genuinely cannot repay the full amount at once, you can offer the option of paying in installments with a clear payment amount and schedule.

Third, keep records of transactions, conversations, and repayment agreements. These records can be important if a dispute arises in the future.

Fourth, if your friend does not respond, send a more formal and firm written reminder with a reasonable payment deadline.

If the amount owed is substantial and the matter remains unresolved, consider seeking help from a mediator or consulting a legal professional.

Do not use threats, violence, public humiliation on social media, or the disclosure of someone's private information to force them to repay the money.

9. Do Not Lend Money Without a Clear Agreement

To prevent similar problems from happening again, it is important to be more careful when lending money to friends.

Before providing a loan, consider whether you can afford to have that money tied up for a while and whether your own financial needs will remain secure.

Create a written agreement that clearly states the loan amount, repayment date, and repayment method. For larger amounts, more formal documentation can help protect both parties.

Remember, helping a friend is a good thing, but it does not mean you have to sacrifice your own financial stability.

Conclusion

Getting out of debt requires careful planning, discipline, and a commitment to improving your financial habits. Start by listing all your debts, creating a monthly budget, prioritizing high-interest loans, reducing unnecessary expenses, and finding additional sources of income if needed.

Meanwhile, a friend's failure to repay a debt can have various causes, ranging from financial difficulties to a lack of personal responsibility.

Therefore, it is important to maintain good communication, establish clear repayment agreements, and keep records of all financial transactions.

Ultimately, both money and friendships deserve to be protected. Learn to manage debt wisely, face financial problems responsibly, and be more cautious when lending money to others. With the right approach, you can improve your financial situation and reduce the risk of conflicts caused by unpaid debts.